|Break loose from old tiedowns|
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you say to yourself, “Dammit! I did it again. I’m back in the same old situation, only different. Obviously I’m making some mistake that lands me back in the same kind of situation. I’m supposed to learn a lesson from this, but what the hell is it? Why am I back here again?”
There could be a lot of reasons you keep repeating the same problem, but it doesn’t matter why. If you have any life experience, of course you’ve experienced this broken record.
The question is, how do you break free? Here is how.
These “same old situations” are tethered to an emotional life experience. It imprints on our brains and bodies. The obvious example is childhood abuse. A beating gets imprinted on our bodies. A frequently repeated put-down gets imprinted on our brains. As long as the imprint remains, we’re doomed to repeat the same stuck feelings and thoughts.
One lady recalled a memory when she was eight years old. She was talking with a trusted uncle when suddenly a sense of dread filled her. Her heart racing, she ran into the kitchen where she found her mother. She recalled that nothing bad actually happened, but throughout her life she experienced the same sense of danger anytime she began to trust a man. At age 48, she had managed to marry once for three years, but she reported that she always felt anxious until divorced.
An imprint can be from real trauma or from a rule of life that we decided to live by. Over time the origin of the rule faded away, but we still recreate similar situations, trying to resolve that old imprint. We relive it over and over, trying to make it have a different, better outcome. We keep walking into the wall expecting a door to appear. Obviously, personal experience tells us that doesn’t work.
Anytime we have a imprint experience, our minds keep going back to it, rehashing it over and over. That’s your brain trying to find a solution, trying to resolve the imprint.
Here’s how to get beyond it. Researchers have found that, if you repeatedly retell the story of the bad experience, it slowly relieves the imprint.
So, first, write your story. Then rewrite it and add any details you want.
Retelling the story brings up the old pain, and we naturally want to avoid pain. So you may find yourself trying to avoid the story because of the associated the pain. But if we don’t retell the story, we remain stuck in the imprint.
The next step is, once you have your story written, find someone you trust to listen to you tell the story over and over again. Each time you retell the story, the emotional imprint will fade some.
Over time you’ll become desensitized to the bad feelings associated with the story. Once the feelings are resolved, the story becomes an ancient faded memory, and you are freed to move forward in your life.
This works no matter how long ago you had the bad experience, but it works best in the first 90 days after it. You may have several old imprints to overcome. Go through this process for each one of them, as well as for any new ones that come up.
And next time you feel inspired to do something new, step through any discomfort and test your new freedom. Once you’ve released your old imprints, there’s truly nothing holding you back.
Copyright © 2017 Christopher Aune